TMD weddings have their own fare of rituals and ceremonies with some of them being preserved customs and some adopted, and yet more observed!
Every single function would entail a "HALEDH-KUNKU" ceremony when all the married women present would be given haldhi and kumkum and sometimes arecanut with 2 betel leaves( called "VIDAACH PAAN -SUPARI") and a fruit.
Also every occasion involves an arathi performed by two married women ..SAVASHNIS
along with a song sung
A bride is called "NAVRI"and the groom is called "NAVRA"
Engagement ceremony is called "VAAKNISCHAYA"
Before the wedding preparations start, there would be a special function with at least 5 ladies, who would get together and pound the turmeric rhizome and powder it.
This function is called "HALKUND THENCHNA" As the name suggests 'pounding of turmeric rhizome'
The bride is also made to wear green bangles, which she cannot remove for one month after the marriage.
The day prior to the wedding would be "DEV-DEKH" ; also called "Deversamaradhana".
when the family "KULADEVA" or family deity is worshipped. There is also "NAANDI" ceremony when the forefathers are invited to witness the marriage and bless the couple.
That evening before the wedding day, which is the the wedding eve, are two functions.
The first of these functions is "MOOL PHANA" . MOOL means girl and PHANA means 'seeing' so this is basically "girl seeing" . However, this is honoring of the bride by the groom's parents.
The bride is given decorative , artistic gifts, pleasing to the eye; she is offered all the 16 shringaar samaan.... The groom's mother ritually 'dresses' her up offering cosmetics and a saree, jewelry etc.
The second function is "JHANVAAS". Here the groom is honored by the bride's parents. He is offered clothes, some jewelry etc. He too is offered eye pleasing decorative gifts and 'laadus' and sweetmeats.
Following this would be a formal introduction of the both families with "Bhukka powder"
After the function is a grand "JHANVAASACHA JEVANA" which is a grand dinner!
The wedding day begins with a ritual "abhyanga" performed for the bride and parents and the groom and his parents separately. Oil applied and an arathi performed followed by the oil bath.
The bride is dressed in a yellow saree and the groom in a yellow dhothi. Originally this saree and dhothi would be cotton cloth soaked in Haldhi (Turmeric). A lot of flowers would adorn the bride's head and two limes hung from 2 sides. A special type of kunku adorns her forehead...it is shaped like a vertical line with a small half "U" that cuts the line.
Here some people have the custom of "MADHUPARKACHA JEVAN" whereby the groom is fed "doodh bhath" or milk, sugar and rice.
Otherwise, both the groom and bride and their respective parents do not eat any food till the marriage is over. This is because no "daan" including "kanyadaan" can be made or received after partaking food
Once dressed up the bride would perform "GAURI PUJA" this puja is performed in "mouna"(no talking by the bride).
In the meanwhile, the groom adorned with "kaajal" and wearing huge earrings made of wheat atta and haldi , carries a walking stick and wearing slippers heads for "KASHI YATRA"
Ironically, he is supposed to be saying he does not want to get married but wants to go on a pilgrimage to Kaashi!
While he thus heads for Kaashi, the bride's father approaches him, even as simultaneously the bride's brother holds an umbrella to the groom's head, and "pleads" with him not to go to Kaashi but to marry his daughter.
Not surprisingly, the groom agrees and they all give him new clothes and march him back to the marriage hall!
The next important step is the "ANTHARPAT". Interestingly, this has to be done in the "muhurth" time frame. Antharpat is the holding of a white or turmeric dipped cloth in front of the groom just as the bride is brought by her maternal uncle and aunt (mama and mami) to the marriage hall.
The antharpat continues as the bride takes her stand in front of the groom
Both cannot see each other as the cloth is held firm by two people. The bride and groom hold akshata in their hands to sprinkle on each other soon as the antharpat is off.
While the bride and groom wait thus in anticipation, the priest and the ladies assembled sing songs inviting all the gods, nature, the rivers, mountains and so on to witness the wedding..."saava dhaan"
Finally the curtain is off and as the bride and groom get to see each other amidst applause and all assembled sprinkle akshatha on them.
Then the "KANYADAAN" takes place. The bride's parents hand over or give daana of their daughter along with betel leaves, coconut, supari and dakshina to the groom.
Next is the elaborate "KANKANA". For this, a large ball of twine is soaked in milk and haldi by the priest. All married couples close to the family are called up on stage and form a huge circle. This ball of twine is passed on around few times until it makes two strong binding strings, one for the bride and other for the groom.
The groom then ties this on the bride's left hand and the bride on the groom's right hand.
This "Kankana" is very symbolic in displaying the strength of the bond of the husband and wife.
Following this is the tying of "MANGALASUTRA" . Prior to tying the Mangalasutra, it is placed on a coconut , sanctified with haledh and kunku and taken around to be blessed by the savashni women.
This is followed by showering each other with handfuls of yellowed rice grains.
Tying of the mangalasutra culminates the marriage though there are other functions following.
Putting of the "Jodvi" or toe rings by the groom on the bride's toes, while she stands royally.
Then the vedic part of the marriage ceremony includes the ' SAPTAPADI' (circumambulation) of the sacrificial fire seven times. Each circle represents a given promise between the husband and wife to support, nurture and love each other through the various steps of life. At the end of the Saptapadi, the bride and groom are taken to be shown the Pole star or Arundhati . This is to symbolise to them..as the pole star follows the moon, so should the wife follow the husband!
This is followed by "LAJA HOMA" where the bride's brother offers popped grain to the fire. This about concludes the marriage.
This is followed by a grand "Jevana" for all. Five banana leaves are arranged together , decorated with rangoli and candles for the bride and groom .
The afternoon or post wedding functions though dispensed with in most households still needs a mention as all customs need to be included in this.
There is the "NAAGOLI" with the decorated colored pots. "Rukhout" refers to the silver etc. given to the bride by her parents.
"GRIHAPRAVESH" is when the bride wears a nine yard saree, and dresses like the goddess Lakshmi and enters the groom's house for the first time.
A silver cup filled with rice is kept at the entrance and as the bride enters to the singing of 'Bhagyada Lakshmi Baramma'; she gently topples the cup with her right foot, thus splattering the grains .
This is symbolic of the bride entering her husband's house like the very Goddess Lakshmi and the splattering of rice grains symbolises the rush of wealth that she will bring to the house.
The bride then gives haledh kunku and vida to all present and "SOOP VANA" (Maruda bagina in Kannada) to 5 married ladies.
This is the time she gives "SOOP VANA" to her own mother, as she now belongs to another family.
"SOON MUKH PHANA" refers to the bride being accepted by the groom's parents and his relatives.
Finally is the "NISHAAK MUHURTH" referring to the consummation of the marriage.
The next day is "VYAAHYANCHA GHARCHA JEVANA" refering to the meal hosted by the groom's family.
Every single function would entail a "HALEDH-KUNKU" ceremony when all the married women present would be given haldhi and kumkum and sometimes arecanut with 2 betel leaves( called "VIDAACH PAAN -SUPARI") and a fruit.
Also every occasion involves an arathi performed by two married women ..SAVASHNIS
along with a song sung
A bride is called "NAVRI"and the groom is called "NAVRA"
Engagement ceremony is called "VAAKNISCHAYA"
Before the wedding preparations start, there would be a special function with at least 5 ladies, who would get together and pound the turmeric rhizome and powder it.
This function is called "HALKUND THENCHNA" As the name suggests 'pounding of turmeric rhizome'
The bride is also made to wear green bangles, which she cannot remove for one month after the marriage.
The day prior to the wedding would be "DEV-DEKH" ; also called "Deversamaradhana".
when the family "KULADEVA" or family deity is worshipped. There is also "NAANDI" ceremony when the forefathers are invited to witness the marriage and bless the couple.
That evening before the wedding day, which is the the wedding eve, are two functions.
The first of these functions is "MOOL PHANA" . MOOL means girl and PHANA means 'seeing' so this is basically "girl seeing" . However, this is honoring of the bride by the groom's parents.
Mool Phana |
The bride is given decorative , artistic gifts, pleasing to the eye; she is offered all the 16 shringaar samaan.... The groom's mother ritually 'dresses' her up offering cosmetics and a saree, jewelry etc.
The second function is "JHANVAAS". Here the groom is honored by the bride's parents. He is offered clothes, some jewelry etc. He too is offered eye pleasing decorative gifts and 'laadus' and sweetmeats.
Following this would be a formal introduction of the both families with "Bhukka powder"
After the function is a grand "JHANVAASACHA JEVANA" which is a grand dinner!
The wedding day begins with a ritual "abhyanga" performed for the bride and parents and the groom and his parents separately. Oil applied and an arathi performed followed by the oil bath.
The bride is dressed in a yellow saree and the groom in a yellow dhothi. Originally this saree and dhothi would be cotton cloth soaked in Haldhi (Turmeric). A lot of flowers would adorn the bride's head and two limes hung from 2 sides. A special type of kunku adorns her forehead...it is shaped like a vertical line with a small half "U" that cuts the line.
Here some people have the custom of "MADHUPARKACHA JEVAN" whereby the groom is fed "doodh bhath" or milk, sugar and rice.
Otherwise, both the groom and bride and their respective parents do not eat any food till the marriage is over. This is because no "daan" including "kanyadaan" can be made or received after partaking food
Once dressed up the bride would perform "GAURI PUJA" this puja is performed in "mouna"(no talking by the bride).
In the meanwhile, the groom adorned with "kaajal" and wearing huge earrings made of wheat atta and haldi , carries a walking stick and wearing slippers heads for "KASHI YATRA"
Ironically, he is supposed to be saying he does not want to get married but wants to go on a pilgrimage to Kaashi!
While he thus heads for Kaashi, the bride's father approaches him, even as simultaneously the bride's brother holds an umbrella to the groom's head, and "pleads" with him not to go to Kaashi but to marry his daughter.
Not surprisingly, the groom agrees and they all give him new clothes and march him back to the marriage hall!
The next important step is the "ANTHARPAT". Interestingly, this has to be done in the "muhurth" time frame. Antharpat is the holding of a white or turmeric dipped cloth in front of the groom just as the bride is brought by her maternal uncle and aunt (mama and mami) to the marriage hall.
The antharpat continues as the bride takes her stand in front of the groom
Both cannot see each other as the cloth is held firm by two people. The bride and groom hold akshata in their hands to sprinkle on each other soon as the antharpat is off.
Antharpat |
While the bride and groom wait thus in anticipation, the priest and the ladies assembled sing songs inviting all the gods, nature, the rivers, mountains and so on to witness the wedding..."saava dhaan"
Finally the curtain is off and as the bride and groom get to see each other amidst applause and all assembled sprinkle akshatha on them.
Then the "KANYADAAN" takes place. The bride's parents hand over or give daana of their daughter along with betel leaves, coconut, supari and dakshina to the groom.
Kanyadaan |
Next is the elaborate "KANKANA". For this, a large ball of twine is soaked in milk and haldi by the priest. All married couples close to the family are called up on stage and form a huge circle. This ball of twine is passed on around few times until it makes two strong binding strings, one for the bride and other for the groom.
The groom then ties this on the bride's left hand and the bride on the groom's right hand.
This "Kankana" is very symbolic in displaying the strength of the bond of the husband and wife.
Following this is the tying of "MANGALASUTRA" . Prior to tying the Mangalasutra, it is placed on a coconut , sanctified with haledh and kunku and taken around to be blessed by the savashni women.
This is followed by showering each other with handfuls of yellowed rice grains.
Tying of the mangalasutra culminates the marriage though there are other functions following.
Putting of the "Jodvi" or toe rings by the groom on the bride's toes, while she stands royally.
Then the vedic part of the marriage ceremony includes the ' SAPTAPADI' (circumambulation) of the sacrificial fire seven times. Each circle represents a given promise between the husband and wife to support, nurture and love each other through the various steps of life. At the end of the Saptapadi, the bride and groom are taken to be shown the Pole star or Arundhati . This is to symbolise to them..as the pole star follows the moon, so should the wife follow the husband!
This is followed by "LAJA HOMA" where the bride's brother offers popped grain to the fire. This about concludes the marriage.
This is followed by a grand "Jevana" for all. Five banana leaves are arranged together , decorated with rangoli and candles for the bride and groom .
The afternoon or post wedding functions though dispensed with in most households still needs a mention as all customs need to be included in this.
There is the "NAAGOLI" with the decorated colored pots. "Rukhout" refers to the silver etc. given to the bride by her parents.
"GRIHAPRAVESH" is when the bride wears a nine yard saree, and dresses like the goddess Lakshmi and enters the groom's house for the first time.
Grihapravesh |
A silver cup filled with rice is kept at the entrance and as the bride enters to the singing of 'Bhagyada Lakshmi Baramma'; she gently topples the cup with her right foot, thus splattering the grains .
This is symbolic of the bride entering her husband's house like the very Goddess Lakshmi and the splattering of rice grains symbolises the rush of wealth that she will bring to the house.
The bride then gives haledh kunku and vida to all present and "SOOP VANA" (Maruda bagina in Kannada) to 5 married ladies.
This is the time she gives "SOOP VANA" to her own mother, as she now belongs to another family.
"SOON MUKH PHANA" refers to the bride being accepted by the groom's parents and his relatives.
Finally is the "NISHAAK MUHURTH" referring to the consummation of the marriage.
The next day is "VYAAHYANCHA GHARCHA JEVANA" refering to the meal hosted by the groom's family.
The abhyanga which u have referred is called akshana in our household...
ReplyDeleteIs it possible to use this blogspot to have a forum for finding brides and grooms within the TMD community? Especially for those outside India it is extremely hard to find in our own community.... Thanks
ReplyDeleteKV, I am trying to create another blog for this purpose and will link it to this blog. Hope that helps!
ReplyDeletethis is a very good and comprehensive explanation of our marriages....though i think an item or two maybe added, such as saade where the couple play with each other and mool nirivun dena when the bride is given away to the groom and his family.....
ReplyDeleteCorrect I have left ou Saade and mool nirivun dena. Funnily while we TMDs refer to the silver and vessels given to the bride as Rukhoutacha samaan ...Rukhout is a totally different function among the Maharashtrians from Maharashtra!
ReplyDeleteDear Pratiba,
ReplyDeleteim a third generation indian living in Malaysia,
I would like to trace the origin of my grandfather who is a Tanjore Marathi, from Nellore.
Would like to enquire if you have any relatives/friends in Nellore, or any south indian Marathi's there.
This would be a big help especially, to trace my lineage.
Hope you can drop me a line, as I couldnt trace your e-mail address elswhere ;
mahendra.baskaran@hotmail.com
Dear Prathibha may I request to delete this query, as I see see my information is on public.
DeleteRegards
My son is getting married to a pune based desastha brahmin bride.Is there any difference in the rituals between our TMD wedding and pune based weddind? Shivaji.P.G. email shivaji.pg@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous, I suppose the marriage customs are more or less the same, only thing we have lost the names of the functions.
ReplyDeleteThere is a preliminary function of the groom's family and bride's family exchanging 'naral' (cocnuts) and fruit and Thambul. In my house they called it..."thaat exchange" for want of better name... I believe it is actually called.."Saakhar Puda"
Another function involves a function in the bride's maternal grandmother's house, where the bride's mother(daughter of the house) and her family are specially honored and given a grand lunch and gifts. I came to know that this is called "Kelvan"
So functions are similar but the names are lost!!!
Dear Mahendran, I am sorry I will be unable to help you on that score. However, there is a Thanjavur Marathi page on Facebook with 2000+ memebers, I am sure you will be able to trace something from there. https://www.facebook.com/groups/TanjavurMarathi/
ReplyDeletecan any one tell me the procedure/sampradaya for Nandi Basivana prior to upanayanam or marriage
ReplyDeleteDear Vittal Rao,
DeleteNaandi ceremony is done to honor the Pithrus and seek their blessing for the function. This function is dome by the Brahmins officiating. Once the Pithrus are invited, a certain sanctity has to be preserved and this Naandi is kept till the functions are over, and after that released.
Sometimes, if a wedding in the same family follows the Upanayanam as often happens, the Naandi is kept till the wedding is over.
There is a rule that a Naandi once called and sent back cannot be done again for 3 months. If so, the Naandi is kept till all the functions are over.
This is such a wonderful site. I'm glad I'm stumbled upon it. I'm a marathi brahmin on my mother's side and now married to a Tamil Iyengar. Your posts brings back memories of my childhood days. Could you please explain what exactly is done during Naagoli? Thanks again for a wonderful site
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteI couldnt get my name on the earlier post. And so this one.
ReplyDeleteThanks for making our community well known
Welcome to my blog, Vani
DeleteSomebody told me that Naandi ceremony is to be performed only in the morning a day prior to the marriage. Can it not be performed in the afternoon or evening a day before the marriage? If so what could be the possible reason?
ReplyDeleteRaghavendran
Many many thanks for the detailed write up.This will serve as reference
ReplyDeleteThanks for the write up. Very informative.
ReplyDeleteWe have lots of Tanjore Marathi Brides and Grooms in our website-www.vivahayoha.com.Vivahayoha is a Free,Hindu Matrimonial website.Request you to make use of our services for your friends and family
ReplyDeletethere is something called limbacha dhanda (Two lemons hanging on either sides of the bride's head, see picture above)which the bride is made to wear during the muhurtham. Any one knows how to make it?
ReplyDeleteIn chennai, we have a well registered matrimony called desasthamatrimonychennai.com please utilise this for your needs. You may contact Mr sudhakar9840079740 / sripad 99529 75461. The maharashtra association chennai has also published a book entitled "marriage customs of South indian maharashtrians" a very informative book in great detail.
ReplyDeletecan i know why we r performing a ritual with limbacha dhanda , what is the reason behind it and it is tat important . im going to be marathi bride soon and i dont want to have this limcha dhanda for my marriage is at any other possible way without lemons on the side of my head.if no can i atleast know the reason behind it for self satisfaction.
ReplyDeletecan i know why we r performing a ritual with limbacha dhanda , what is the reason behind it and it is tat important . im going to be marathi bride soon and i dont want to have this limcha dhanda for my marriage is at any other possible way without lemons on the side of my head.if no, at least can i know the reason behind it.
ReplyDeletethank you.